From the Archives: Alcohol

I thought I would go dig into the old shit I had done years ago.  It’s pretty bad.  Really bad. So it’s the same.  In this episode, my friend and I got drunk and I someone managed to do an update that night ALMOST as it happened.  I’m a horrible person for all of this.

Stardate: March 20, 2004:
Ok so Im drunk.

Quite driznk. So this one will probably make no sens – well…. less than they did befizore.

The night started out pretty cooooooooooool. My friend and I went to a local bar and, starting around 7:4fizive with began pitchers of Yuengling’s finest Lager by the pitcher.

Around 9:30ish, we decide we needed a break to admire the “trees” of the area. Beautiful trees… Starting to bloom. He saw about 4 trees and I only saw 2. 2 fucking trees. Why did I only see 2 trees? If the trees were smaller I would’ve seen more but since I can only handle a certain amount of tall, strong, trees – I only saw 2 trees. But just seeing those 2 trees made me a very happy man. I’m very easily pleased.

After we agreeeeed we saw enough trees, we agreed it was time to continue supporting the local brewery. We went back to the bar and and continues our quest again. The quest where we we forget what we’re questing for. Fudk quests.

So around 1:30ish while attemtping to play pool and not look I’m becoming a sudden parapaleigc, we befriended 2 females. A rather unattractive female and a rather cute Brunette.

The blonde, of course, was the touchy feely one. I’m sure the fact that she was drunk of her own 2 feet didn’t help, but having her touch me and rub against me was very strange to the say the least. And her friend, although nice, was keeping her distance.
I hate wing-bitch.

Well after about 4 shots and 2 pitchers of beer, I was near my limit and the silliness. Some how, the blondie acquired my phone number.
After we left, she called and asked me what I was doing. “Hoping to fuck your friend” is what I wanted to say but instead I said nothing. We rean into them at a McDonalds to where she said something like “Yeah I’m gonna go pick up my kid.” Strike 2.

The other amusing thing was her friend, the cute brunenettttte, was told to us by someone in the bar to have herpes and to avoid her. Naaaastry – Like the terotype goes, You can’t judge a boog by it’s cover.

We met that at the parking lot, said drive caref and sqyealed out o there. I obvioustly wasn’t thinking.

We needed food to get our senses back. Metting ugly infected chicks just was way out of our persona…. Something wasn’t right.

sub1

A drunken trip to the local grocery store yielded this for me. A classic, day old, turkey sub. With bread so soggy I could’ve squeezed it for moisture if I were trapped on a desserted island. Turkey so white you would think it had red eyes and feathers so white you expect snow before it was chopped up.

And my partner in crime? He’s no slaker:

 

ham

Fucking heathen. B ringing oug into my house. Andn nthwo the fuck is dietz and waaaatson? PIg fucking NAZIISSS!!!!!!!!. but I’m cool and alowed it.

 

sub2

This should need explaoning. It’s fthis and every1 recognizes that it simply rulez your vagina…

 

 

mustard2

Ex ept that I think it was expired. not so FUCKing GOLDING now huh?!
me and mah nigaaa….. Wekk the TV was LOOOOOOOOUD adn MTV just suckkks.

But that’s ok because the fuck bitch on THe screnn was making moist…..

tv

DSLz baby,,,, and I aintalking broadband! YEAH!

but like most hos, it dinst’ last veryu long and started suckin shorly after so I decdiefed to change it with his:

remote

ths sweetest remote ever.

You know I shouldave…

donuts

ok nermefnc. i cshoullc’’vveshould’ve brought the chi9ks -no they weers nASTTTTT

cat1

 

golf

(eeeeeesh)

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