So I went to Pizza Hut… Because I can. And of course I was seated next to this bowel movement and his Mexirican bitch…

Now he doesn’t seem to be causing much of a problem… Just using his food stamp (note: not racism, just par for the county) for deliciousness- so I don’t hate him for that.
No he’s guilty of actually playing his autotuned diarrhea music through the speaker of his phone with his south-of-the-border gash approving. I wanted to hit him with a cheesestick, but that would be unfair to the cheesestick.
Luckily… This beauty was able to distract me:

Yes she was far enough away for me to require a sniper rifle for my penis, but I’m a sad lonely man so it works out in the end
Thankfully…. My sliced life reduction plan showed up:

…and I was able to forget everything else and focus on remembering if I had enough toilet paper at the house. Because I was gonna need it.